When “Hurt” Finally Has a Voice

I’ve been Myles’ voice for a long time.

I’ve spoken for his pain, his discomfort, his needs. I’ve learned his cues. His tells. The way his body says things his mouth isn’t ready to yet. Like any mother does.

But when your child has a complex medical history, that role becomes more than second nature. You watch closely. You translate. You advocate.

One thing I’ve been especially intentional about is sign language.

Not “instead of words”, like some people try to call it. But alongside them. Another tool to support communication. And my god, does it ever work.

I’ve been blown away with how quickly he learned to sign and say words like mama, open, up. But tonight, he signed a word I’ve been working so hard on teaching him.

Hurt.

Because learning how to say “something is wrong” is the beginning of self-advocacy, even without words.

Tonight, after three vaccines at the doctor’s office, Myles woke up sad and in pain. As we lay in the dark together, wide awake, I spoke softly to him about how his legs were sore.

And then he did it. He took his little hands, held them beside his sore leg, and signed the word “hurt”.

It wasn’t prompted. It wasn’t a drill. He used it because he needed it.

This isn’t just about his legs being sore. This is about communication. Connection. Him understanding his body, how it feels and knowing he can communicate when something is wrong. And that he can trust when he does, someone will be there to listen.

For so long, I’ve carried the responsibility of speaking for him. Tonight, he showed me that he’s beginning to take part in that conversation himself, in his own way, on his own timeline.

This is the beginning of him finding his own voice.